When the Heart Speaks

To write well, we must write from the heart. At least this is what I read (on other people’s blogs) and found to be true from personal experience. It seems like a simple concept, but is it actually so in reality?

What does it even mean to “write from the heart”? Do we just let out everything we’ve got built up inside of us? Let loose and go crazy? Sounds kinda fun actually, to be honest. And that’s why I enjoy writing so much sometimes; there’s a sense of liberty/freedom to put your thoughts and emotions onto paper, or in this case digital screen, with relatively little fear of what others may think of you.

At least that’s how I feel here, while the real world is a bit more challenging, ho-hum. WordPress is like a parallel universe in my mind and heart, do you ever feel like this too?

Anyways, I would write more often, but frankly some days I just don’t have the time or energy to do so. I’m not exactly the most emotionally stable person in the world, even though I feel like I made substantial progress in the not-too-distant past.

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So I’d like to share something personal about my life which happened recently.

There was a friend (who happens to be female) who I cut off from my life last year. We had a fight about some things and the friendship just fell apart.

For some reason, maybe my subconscious barking into me, I decided to get back in touch with her this week and we talked on the phone a couple of days ago. So I apologized for how things went and told her that I’d want to be friends again. She consented and seemed to take it rather well.

We talked a lot, joked around a bit, there was a lot to catch up on and it was great to hear from her again. We had been friends for many years previously and she’d been an important part of my life, so I was glad to have patched things up and rekindled the relationship.

And yet, ever since we said our good-byes and hung up the phone, my heart started to ache again. For like the past 2 days or so, every now and then I can feel my heart just throbbing/twisting inside like it’s being constricted and tortured by a boa snake anaconda or something. It almost feels like a bleeding heart.

I’m pretty sure there’s a connection, but I don’t know how to make the ache/pain go away. It’s driving me insane sometimes. So I try to distract myself by reading, commenting elsewhere, going out, checking other social media; you know, life is full of distractions.

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Thankfully though, it’s not too heavy or intense, it’s quite tolerable and I have the feeling that it’ll go away eventually.

There’s a saying which goes something like this: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Honestly, I’d rather take the lemons, crush them to pieces and make some lemon pie out of it instead. But hey, maybe that’s just me.